New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
