Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
