Soap is not a condiment
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
