There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
