but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize