He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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