it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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