We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
