Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
