Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
