Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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