That's when you crack a 10am beer
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
