we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize