YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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