so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
