I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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