If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
