Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
