This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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