I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
