im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
