Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
