ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
