She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
