We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
