We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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