Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
