Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
