He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
