I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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