Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
