Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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