Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
