she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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