every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
