wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
