I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The power of my boobs compel you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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