I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
