it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
