he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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