Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
