I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
