nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
