do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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