So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
