In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize