hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
