she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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