she woke up with a sticky ear
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
