Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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