I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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