I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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