I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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