so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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