when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
