I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Alive.
So much puke
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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